Why so long, man?

I’m a slacker. I can admit it. That might also be a lie. I’ve had a lot going on. I was working and dealing with roommate issues. Then I was moving to avoid roommate issues that turned into losing a friend. In addition, I’ve also lost a job and been fighting with unemployment because my former employer didn’t have an account with unemployment. It’s taken 16 weeks of nearly daily interactions with unemployment agencies in 2 different states. Oh, did I mention I’m still looking for work? Let’s call it a hiatus.


After that first trip I’ve returned to my parents house to visit maybe three times. It is much simpler to fly than to drive. Driving home would stress me out because I was rushing to get to my destination so I could hook up for the night. Flying, I’m all for it. I get a wheel chair because that machine is far too heavy to lug through an airport. Airport employees have been nothing but kind and courteous.
It is still a hassle. And I feel like kind of an asshole. Even though I know I cannot carry my machine through an airport, I guess I feel guilty because I can carry it to the car. Now, when I say that, what I mean is I have to sit there panting and exhausted for 15 minutes before I gather the energy to walk back to my apartment to get the rest of my things. The best term to use here is that my guilt is actually vanity. A voice in my head keeps telling me I can push through, at the cost of possibly really hurting myself. This is stupid. No matter how strong I want to be or think I am. I have limits that are stricter than before. I have to practice more patience with myself and remember that getting my strength back is still taking more time.

Pro tip: Let people help you. Let them carry the machine or assist in putting it in/removing it from the overhead bin. You don’t have to let it make you feel weak or sickly.


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